producer: MMac

SHITdreambeautiful[at]gmail[dot]com
SHITdreambeautiful.com
twitter: @SHITdrmbtfl

mixed: Rob ‘Muneshine’ Bakker
art: Brett Lindzen [ knapsackwax.com ]
.
Posing with rotten goons
Smoking like a college student
Smoking like a barbecue with rotten goons and prostitutes
On Jarvis in an aqua blue jogging suit
An Argonaut
Tits sweaty like a sauna soaking jaundice through
The armpits of my under shirt
Yellow like a Boston Bruin
Thighs rub below the nuggets in my jockey blues
Walking a cocky waddle in two polished shoes
On some…
Who the fuck you think you’re talking to?
Robert who?
Fuck the Globe, Post, Sun, Star and Johnny Stewart
Toss in Gawker too
Every wrong I do is front page Toronto news
You can’t stop this big dog
I’m Marmaduke
With two bloody paws in the pockets of my Orfus Road Armani suit
You really, really, really…
Really, really, really, really, really thought that bullshit your columns spew
Would stop my movement
Wake up and smell the coffee, goof
I came to sop up the St. Hubert’s sauce and stop the choo choo train
Derailed
I’m Don Cherry meets Kevin O’Leary meets Mel Lastman in a pot of soup
And I’m a broth too hot to swallow
So don’t follow me with all your spoons
Surround me in a parking lot and shoot me with the cameras I walk into
I’ve got better things to do than to talk to you
I’ve got better things to smoke
So, unless you got a rock or two on you
I have no quotes to offer you
Get the fuck off my lawn, you douche
You got until the count of two
And I’m high on rocket fuel
With a loaded rocket launcher ready to burn like the cock of Bruce
I don’t need advice or a talking to
Fuck rehab and fuck Dr. Drew
Big Macs, Whoppers and lasagna noodles
Baba Ganoush, cheesecake and chocolate mousse
On the same table I arm-wrestled the Hulkster through
I’m on thin ice
Fuck thin ice
I death drop on thin ice
What would Brian Boitano do?
Triple axel
Oksana Baiul
Elvis Stojko
I own Toronto
.

*note: i pronounce Stojko like that intentionally. you’re not smarter than me, Gary.

producer: MMac

SHITdreambeautiful[at]gmail[dot]com
SHITdreambeautiful.com
twitter: @SHITdrmbtfl

mixed: Rob ‘Muneshine’ Bakker
art: Brett Lindzen [ knapsackwax.com ]
.
SHIT!
In a rented car listening to Nelly songs
Elbow on a dented door
Smoking green Leprechaun
High as fuck
Open 40 resting on
My set of testicles the size of tennis balls
Parked behind a white cruiser with the engine on
Remembering when my mama told me I was better off
In a cemetery or behind a wall of metal bars
So I ran away like Benatar
Cherry Bomb
Or was that Joan Jett?
I don’t know
SHIT!
I just popped a Molly Shannon, now I’m soaking wet
Cold and drenched
Alone, broke and fat
Reading Clockwork Orange in a bowler hat
I sleep in shit, but dream beautiful
Doing yoga in Rick Rubin’s studio
Braiding his beard while listening to monks chant
In some other language I don’t understand
SHIT!
I meditate until my head escapes
And I levitate without a reddish cape
Life gave me lemons, but I don’t like lemonade
I’d rather eat meringue until the zipper on my denim breaks
Born to lose
Born to fail
Born to smoke boulders and snort snowy rails
In a boiler room spewing toilet humor
Touring the universe on potpourri and moldy shrooms
Dating an imbalanced lady with father issues
And baggage filled with Xanax and a box of tissues
Who loves me if I’m broke or if I’m stupid rich
Loves me if I’m Hammer broke or Mark Cuban rich
Lauryn Hill poor or Shawn Carter paid
Belly flopping with Beyonce on a haunted lake
Swimming on the wrong side of the caution tape
With talking alligators who sound like Thomas Waits
I dream beautiful when I’m not awake
When I’m not awake I don’t beg for pocket change
When I’m not awake I order the lobster plate
When I’m wide awake I don’t know how lobster tastes
When I’m wide awake I feel a monster rage
I cannot explain like Magic Johnson’s weight
With your way of life, I cannot relate
I’m a potted plant without a pot or vase
On my last leaf and Mother Nature forgot to rain
Heaven bound in Buddy Holly’s chartered plane
Listening to Richie Valens sing Donna’s praise
So fuck the world until the condom breaks
SHIT! Dream Beautiful
.

bio.

bio.

Tyler Perry’s SHIT!
producer: MMac


SHITdreambeautiful.com
twitter: @SHITdrmbtfl

mixed: Rob ‘Muneshine’ Bakker
art: Brett Lindzen [ knapsackwax.com ]
.
SHIT!
I tried committing suicide listening to Macklemore
But I was too fat to hang from the chandel-ore
Michael Hutchence…Back against the bathroom door
Italian tan leather wrapped around my adam’s apple core
Pants down to my ankle socks
Slapping knob to latin whores with their panties on
Wanting their salads tossed
I tell them pass the thong, salad tongs and a fork
Screaming ‘Ariba’ like Tito Santana ‘fore he was El Matador
Rasslin’ broads like Andy Kaufman slapping Lawler
A rabid dog sharper than Hugh Jackman’s claws
I’m royalty like Wes Anderson’s Tenenbaums
I’m kind of a big Kim Deal…Cannonball
My brain’s banana bruised
A dented can of corn deeper than Handy thoughts
Just ripped the bandage off my two brand new implants the size of basketballs
Jack-o-lantern large
I got implanted to better my beauty pageant score
Halloween themed, but I look fat in orange
Walking the San Fernando Valley with a cattle prod
In a tank top, bronze tan and Richard Branson blonde
With three shemales thinner than Mickey Avalon
Who claim they’re models, but are more Rick Moranis hot
You can drop a roll of quarters in their camel paws
One dated David Lee Roth…Panama
A mad rapper who really isn’t mad at all
A wack rapper who’s career is in a casket, locked
A laughing stock
With Alzheimer’s
One dated David Lee Roth…Panama
A mad rapper who really isn’t mad at all
A wack rapper who’s career is in a casket, locked
A laughing stock
With Alzheimer’s
Manic depressive
Shaving my head cancer bald
A cracked actor squatting in an abandoned barn
A Richard Avedon portrait of an atom bomb
Fuck rap
I’m maxing out a stolen Mastercard on a laptop and a Serato box
Then become a no-talent, play button pressing
World famous DJ like Candace Cameron
Playing dance-y songs
To kids who like Calvin Harris
And take drugs that make Calvin and Hobbes look like Cameron’s Avatar

Tyler Perry’s gonna make me a millionaire
Tyler Perry’s gonna make me a millionaire
I’m going Hollywood, and I don’t give a million cares
No.No.No
I don’t give a billion cares
SHIT! dream.beautiful
.

"Why be yourself when you can be SHIT!?" -SHIT! dream beautiful

"Why be yourself when you can be SHIT!?" -SHIT! dream beautiful